It seems baby giraffes aren't supposed to ski. I've suspected this all my life, but my friends and family keep saying, "Come on, come ski with us." Then I found this amazing ski suit, and I knew that I must again ski.
Alas, the baby-giraffe-on-skis-like-qualities I physically encompass got the better of me, even in the power suit. Was just attempting a simple turn in some thick stiff snow and, snap crackle pop, top half of my leg turned without the bottom half. ACL/MCL surgeries coming soon.
Upon realizing that my time for the better part of the next few months will be spent in bed with ice on my knee, I have decided to inspect this huge crate of "lemons," as it were, and figure out some amazing "lemonade" recipes.
Lemon: OMG... I have to stay in bed, like all the time.
Lemonade: OMG... I get to stay in bed, like all the time!
Lemon: I can't cook meals for my fam.
Lemonade: My kids are going to be forced to start cooking more, and they can't even be mad at me about it!
Lemon: They are going to destroy the kitchen.
Lemonade: I don't have to clean the kitchen!
Lemon: What am I going to do in bed all day?
Lemonade: Hooray! Now in addition to staying up to date on emails from teachers, coaches, High School, Middle School, Elementary School, the PTAs, friends, family, yogis, Nextdoor, Team Snap, The Skimm, Icon Undies, Amazon, Good Eggs, Oprah, The Sunglass Hut, NRA, World Protection of Animals; and in addition to scheduling orthopedist appointments, orthodontist appointments, optometrist appointments, dentist appointments, occupational therapist appointments, hippotherapist appointments, behavioral therapist appointments, physical therapist appointments, acupuncture appointments, chiropractic appointments, banjo lessons and drivers for the kids; well now I will actually be able to finish my online anatomy class, write thank you notes, plan retreats, make playlists, read a dozen books and start my novel (ha). I can't wait!
Lemon: I can't DRIVE. Ughhhhhh.
Lemonade: Good Eggs delivers! Door Dash delivers! Thrive delivers! Friends deliver!!
Children can ride bikes. Children can walk. Children will become self sufficient and strong!
Since I will be a hermit, it will be nice to get an occasional ride from a friend so that I don't fully turn into a troll from lack of socialization.
Lemon: I'm hungry.
Lemonade: Someone brings me food!
Lemon: It's really hard to get up and go to the bathroom without help.
Lemonade: Hmmm. Still working on this one....
So... work to be done, but all in all, this is pretty great. Me, my brace, ice, elevation pillows, my phone tied around my neck with a red ribbon, Lulee Babes blanket (heaven), a bedside table covered in pill bottles and magical homeopathic concoctions, reading glasses (cause, you know, 40), and lots of empty food bowls (which can be cleared at any time... Beuller? Beuller?)
And my faithful cats. And meds. And this lamp... that's all I need.